Adventures In Parodyverse: The Path of the Righteous, Part 7 (Epilogue)

Note: I'm posting this early this week to allow enough time to for people to respond before Halloween and before I go on vacation next Wednesday. World Class will be posted on Saturday instead, if it's finished, and maybe a surprise mini-tale sometime between now and then.

Links:
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Part 3
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6

Adventures In Parodyverse - The Path of the Righteous, Part 7 (Epilogue)

    "Oh my God, Josh is going to murder me," Visionary worried for the fifth time as he paced the small living room in Liu Xi's quarters.

    "I told you, I won't let him harm you," Liu Xi tried desperately to convince him.

    "But the letter," he whined.

    "Why did you send Pricilla a breakup letter anyway? That's extremely tacky."

    "Because she's in Washington D.C. and I didn't want to fly all the way there to break her heart." He shrugged. "And I'm a little afraid of her whole family. Actually, a lot afraid."

    "But it sounds like you're firing her or something!"

    "Actually," Visionary scratched his neck nervously as he spoke, "I did modify one of Lisa's termination form letters."

    Liu Xi let loose a quick string of Chinese cursewords, ones that Visionary could only interpret as emphasizing how stupid he was. "The only thing you could have done worse would be printing it on Lair Legion stationery."

    "Oh, crap." Visionary turned pale suddenly when he couldn't remember if he changed the paper in the printer before printing. "Josh is going to murder me," he repeated. "Maybe it got lost in the mail?" he asked. "Yeah, I'm unlucky enough for that to happen."

    "That wouldn't happen even if Dancer followed the mailman all the way there," Liu Xi pointed out.

    "You're not angry at me, are you?" Visionary asked, sounding almost pitiful.

    Liu Xi's expression softened a little. "No," she replied. "I'm very frustrated, though. You asked for my help but it seems like you've done everything you can to destroy yourself."

    "I had the sense to hide in here," he pointed out. "Can I stay here for a few days?"

    "But you'll miss sex with Lara," Liu Xi reminded him with a sly smile.

    Visionary frowned at Liu Xi at first, but then realized it was no use trying to make her feel embarrassed for saying things like that. "I guess you have a point," he replied meekly.

    "Are you sure you want to do this?" she asked him. "I know I supported you, but you've been a nervous wreck all day. And Lara isn't always around, sometimes she goes home. Are you sure you weren't better off with Pricilla?"

    "Right now, I don't know," he admitted. "With Pricilla it was mostly just sex. Really great sex. Hours and hours of it, where just when I think it's done we're just getting--"

    "I get the point," Liu Xi interrupted. "Move on before you make me ill."

    "Yes." Visionary cleared his throat. "I guess Lara gives me peace of mind. She makes me feel secure. She's not as experienced or brave with sex, but--"

    "Visionary, you're thinking about sex while visiting me," Liu Xi pointed out. "Which I can ignore but it has to be very frustrating for you."

    "I thought this thing with Pricilla was working okay," he continued, "I thought maybe with time I'd bond with her...but the fact is I bonded with Lara first." He shrugged. "I guess that's one of the pitfalls of having sex too early in a relationship, huh?" He realized who he was talking to and left the question hanging.

    "You're obviously still wrestling with this," Liu Xi told him. "Wait and see what happens when the letter is delivered. It was so badly done you can always claim it was some stupid prank. You still have some time to think."

    "I guess I do," he agreed. "One more thing though."

    "What's that?" she asked.

    Visionary looked at her and sighed. "I'd feel terrible breaking Lara's heart. She's been through so much. I feel like it would be easier breaking Pricilla's. Even if it's my neck that will probably be broken next."

    Liu Xi giggled that time. "I will protect you from neck breaking, I promise," she said. "Think about it. Follow your heart."

    Visionary smiled at her and nodded. "Thanks, Liu Xi," he said. "I wonder where Lara is now?" he asked himself as he left the room.

---

    "Why did you bring me here?" Lara Night fumed at the Hooded Hood as she found herself suddenly at Herringcarp Asylum. "I've had quite enough harassment and torture this week in the Parodyverse, and I'm getting pissed. If you try anything I'm going to hurt you, and I'm really going to enjoy it."

    "Amusing," the Hooded Hood replied calmly as he leaned back in his throne. "But sadly I've already done what I needed to. You may go now."

    Lara frowned and narrowed her eyes. "What did you do?"

    "You see, Miss Night, if anyone in the Parodyverse discovers whether Visionary is real or not he ceases to be the placeholder. I calculated that once you discovered what he was...the crystal you wear in that necklace combined with the one you supplied me would grant me that office without destroying Visionary."

    "So you're the new placeholder?" Lara asked. "Is that what all this was about?"

    "Was," the Hooded Hood echoed, "Until I was betrayed by Faite. But you won't remember her, she has been retconned. Faite delivered the crystal to Visionary at the critical moment, so the office of placeholder was transferred back to him."

    "So that's why..."

    He leaned forward and looked at Lara. "Unfortunately, if you continue to frolic with him, you'll remind him what he truly is. And that cannot happen, or the placeholder office will be issued to someone else at random. I have foreseen that outcome to lead to the destruction of the Parodyverse."

    "What did you do?" she repeated.

    "Simple." The Hooded Hood leaned back and steepled his fingers. "Visionary stepped into the wrong shower at first and was given quite a scare. That, Miss Night, is what we call a critical junction in a plot. Because at that point he had the choice to be too traumatized and frightened to try again, or to continue on the path he meant to follow."

    "No," Lara whispered, sounding panicked. "No way."

    "Don't worry," the Hooded Hood added with an evil smile. "I wasn't so cruel as to take away your memory of events as you experienced them."

    "But he won't remember--" She sighed sadly and looked down. "Why are you doing this to me? Just when I thought things were finally looking up for me in the Parodyverse. I was right the first time. I really hate this place."

    "I'm sorry you feel that way," the Hooded Hood replied. "I quite enjoyed our little game."

    "Game?" she asked angrily. She stared at him for a few moments before approaching quickly and punching him once in the nose. "You know what that's for," she whispered angrily. "It's not for me. It's for him. And if you can't understand then you don't know a thing about the Parodyverse or anyone who lives in it."

    "Perhaps you should consider," the Hooded Hood spoke calmly still, even after his nose was bleeding, "That Visionary was happy. That you, in all totality, have been a negative force in his life. That I am the one doing him the favor and you are acting out of selfish need."

    "But Pricilla is--"

    "Exactly what he needs right now," the Hooded Hood finished. "For better or worse. As the placeholder of the Parodyverse he needs to have experiences that are grounded here. As you are fond of pointing out when you are angry...you are not."

    Lara thought about snapping back with some clever remark, but then she considered his words. She saddened and closed her eyes for a moment as she whispered, "I see."

    "As an Agent of Chaos," the Hooded Hood continued, "Dreamcatcher Foxglove has been harmed by your actions here as well. But he is not as strongly affected as Visionary. His life is bound by chaos and can absorb more easily."

    "Are you saying...I'm bringing chaos to the Parodyverse?" Lara asked.

    The Hooded Hood nodded once. "And I have been constantly working to repair it. You are the villain here, Miss Night, not me."

    "Are you saying that...I should stop visiting?" she asked quietly.

    "That choice is up to you," the Hooded Hood told her. "But you must always be mindful of your conduct here. This universe is very delicate, and you seem to be in a position of a lot of power to make changes. You almost destroyed the universe twice in one week, that's quite an accomplishment. You must tread carefully from now on."

    She nodded. "I guess...I say goodbye to Visionary then," she said. She hung her head sadly before disappearing from Herringcarp Asylum.

---

    Yuki entered the office of Sir Mumphrey Wilton at the Lair Mansion and stood in the doorway. "You wanted to see me?" she asked.

    "Yes. Close the door please," Sir Mumphrey said.

    "Is this about my little visit to you-know-who?" Yuki asked suspiciously. She was, by now, used to the fact that Sir Mumphrey seemed to find out everything somehow.

    Sir Mumphrey nodded. "It seems you need a lesson in Lair Legion policy and diplomacy," he said plainly. "Close the door please."

    Yuki seemed angry now as she reached for the door and slammed it shut, hard. She was leaning over the desk a second later. "I need a lesson in what now?" she asked.

    "You're a member of the Lair Legion now," Sir Mumphrey told her. "Everything you do reflects upon all of us. Making a personal visit to Aldrich Grey...when you make an enemy of someone like him you make an enemy for all of us."

    "Are you telling me you're afraid of him?" Yuki asked. "That you're just going to ignore him and OPS because you don't want trouble? I'll tell you what...we already have trouble. They tried to kidnap Hallie and they took Lara and subjected her to torture."

    "To end a war," Sir Mumphrey said as he lit up a pipe and leaned back in his chair, "Someone must cease firing first. Someone has to extend the ol' olive branch, make an offer of peace. OPS will always exist. The Lair Legion will always exist. Perhaps we may even need to work together one day. Therefore we must learn to get along, what?"

    "All I wanted to do was point out that he can't do what he wants to us, that we have teeth and we will fight back."

    "There is no proof that he is associated with OPS," Sir Mumphrey pointed out. "You don't see what's happening here. OPS is a branch of the Justice Department. The Justice Department, and OPS, justifies its existence by protecting men like Grey who, by all rights, appear to simply be important people with lots of money, information, and political connections."

    "So you're saying that--"

    "Your little visit, Miss Shiro, will prompt a justifiable reaction from OPS. And if they decide to interpret your visit as an attack from a rogue organization known as the Lair Legion who believes they can do whatever they wish...they'll be able to justify, publicly, to the American people, whatever they need to do to destroy us."

    "But?" Yuki asked, anticipating more.

    "I've been negotiating on our behalf," he said. "They are not being kind. They know you're a cyborg. They claim you have gone rogue, and demanded that you be expelled from the Lair Legion and turned over to them for immediate disassembly."

    "This is goddamn bullshit!" Yuki kicked one of Sir Mumphrey's chairs clear across the room. "I can't believe you'd do this to me!"

    "Watch the language, please," Mumph insisted. "And allow me to finish. I turned down their request. I made use of some connections of mine and I made a counter-offer."

    "Which is what? That I give them an arm instead?"

    "That you apologize," Sir Mumphrey said. "In writing, specifically for harassing the private citizen Aldrich Grey, acknowledging that you made a mistake. And in exchange, the Justice Department has agreed to extend to you all the rights of other super humans as protected by law...as long as you remain in the service of the Lair Legion."

    "That's it?" she asked, her voice sounding much less angry. "I have to write an apology?"

    "And place my chair where it was," Sir Mumphrey suggested.

    Yuki calmly walked across the room and picked up the chair, placing it in the exact spot she kicked it from earlier. "Look, I'm sorry. I should have trusted you instead of losing it right away. You've really done everything to help me since I joined up."

    "Right then," Sir Mumphrey commented, standing to shake her hand. "I'll be expecting that written apology on my desk tomorrow."

    "You'll have it tonight," Yuki agreed. She shook his hand and smiled slightly.

    "One more thing," Sir Mumphrey added. "I think it might be better if you have a chat with me first before you call on someone late at night, what?"

    "Will do." Yuki nodded and left his office, checking the door she slammed earlier for damage as she left. It was quite a sturdy door, probably designed for many slammings by angry super heroes. "Thanks again," she said before she left and closed the door behind her.

---

    "Hello," Lara greeted Visionary quietly, sounding a little unsteady, as soon as he opened his door. She tried looking directly at him but it was difficult. She had memories he didn't...sweet memories. But he could never truly know now.

    "Lara," Visionary greeted her distantly, meaning to be friendly but not too close. Just as he did...before. "Haven't seen you around lately," he added.

    That last phrase broke her heart. She closed her eyes and did her best not to cry at that point, but she couldn't stop a couple of tears from sneaking past.

    "What's the matter?" Visionary asked. "Is it something I said?"

    "No," she whispered. "I...I just hate the Parodyverse. I really hate it."

    "I thought you said you didn't mean that," Visionary pointed out.

    "I did," she whispered. She didn't know where Visionary remembered that from. Perhaps he had memories she didn't. "I did say that." she wiped her tears away quickly. "But then something worse happened."

    "What?" he asked.

    "I started to...to like you," she spoke slowly, trying to keep calm, not to slip up and say something stupid. Not to cry anymore. "A lot," she added. "And--" She shook her head. "It's just not possible."

    "You're not making sense," Visionary told her.

    Lara swallowed hard and tried her best to arrange her thoughts more coherently. "There are certain things I did, wonderful things. Some of them with you. Only...I was destroying the Parodyverse and didn't know I was doing it. It was all taken away from me...and rightly so."

    "Are you talking about what you did with Dream?" Visionary asked.

    "No," she quickly snapped, "What I did with you." She immediately silenced herself and looked behind her quickly, thinking of leaving.

    "What did you do with me?" Visionary asked. He froze when he looked into her eyes, and an inkling of the actual story suddenly became apparent to him. "Lara...why don't I remember...?"

    "It's all been retconned," Lara explained, "To save the Parodyverse from destruction. I'm sorry, but you can never know what I know. It's too dangerous. And--" She lowered her head and closed her eyes, trying not to cry again. "--in all truth I probably should leave and never return. I've done so much damage already."

    "Lara, wait--" Visionary started to worry, he approached her just as he caught her rubbing tears from her eyes again. He grabbed her shoulder gently. "Don't go, Lara. I...I need every friend I can get."

    "I'm sorry." Lara leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. "I hope you'll remember me."

    "No, Lara, don't go," he whined. "Please, let's talk about this."

    Lara stepped into the hallway, ignoring Visionary, biting hard on her lip to avoid being upset even more herself. She looked up for a moment, and froze...

    ...standing in the hallway, blocking her route, was Yuki Shiro and Jay Boaz, behind her Yo and Hallie, and behind them a sullen Mr. Epitome, looking as if he were just there for support. Liu Xi stepped out of her room, seeming as if she wasn't really invited as part of the group but wished to join it anyway, and the Manga Shoggoth was with her.

    "We can't just let you leave," Yuki told Lara with a sly smile.

    "What is this?" Lara asked.

    "I am to be hearing your conversation with cute-Vizh," Yo said. "Leaving will make cute-Lara and cute-Vizh unhappy. It is to be an uncute thing to be doing."

    "What she said," Hallie echoed.

    Jay stepped forward and took Lara's hand gently. "I've enjoyed working with you, Lara, and generally just having you around. You've been great to all of us. That's why we worked so hard to rescue you."

    "Thank you," she whispered, "But you guys really aren't aware of what I've done."

    "I am," Liu Xi suddenly piped up. "You've done nothing that couldn't have been fixed with one simple action." She waved the shreds of an envelope containing a letter in the air. Visionary instinctively tried to hide at the sight of it, even though he didn't remember what it was. Everyone else was just confused. "The Hooded Hood only made it seem more complicated so you would suffer."

    "But he is right," she said. "I was careless. I almost did destroy the Parodyverse."

    "You didn't," Jay pointed out. "We're still here. So are you. Everything worked out, you need to learn something and be a little more careful next time."

    "I...need to think about it," Lara said. "I'm just not sure it's safe for me to visit here. I don't know if I can be that careful."

    "I assure you it's safe," Liu Xi replied abruptly. "If it wasn't I would kick you out myself." She smiled to show she was teasing.

    "Yes," Hallie added, "You're not the only one who seem to be able to sense changes to the Parodyverse. There are a lot of us who can. I'm sure Liu Xi, or the Shoggoth--"

    "Or me," the Psychic Samurai added.

    "--Or her," Hallie continued, "Would be happy to remind you when you're screwing something up."

    "And the Parodyverse has a way of repairing itself," the Manga Shoggoth added. "It is remarkably resilient, contrary to what the Hooded Hood says. And it tastes a like violets in whipped cream."

    Everyone took a moment to stare at the Manga Shoggoth. But not for too long.

    "The point is," Jay continued, trying to break the distraction, "We like you, a lot. You're nice, you're fun, and you're worth any trouble you might have caused. And we're willing to help you make your visits safer if we can be sure you'll come back."

    Lara looked next to him, where Visionary stood now looking a mixture of nervous and panicked. He seemed like he was trying to put together the words for what he felt.

    "Lara, I don't know what you remember us doing," he finally said, "I hope it was really nice and we enjoyed it...while it existed, anyway. But if you leave, I'm really going to miss you."

    "I know," she replied in a whisper.

    "No, you don't know," Visionary continued abruptly. "I'm going to miss you so that I won't want to be here anymore either. Cause if this world is enough to drive away someone as wonderful as you...there won't be anything worthwhile here anymore. Maybe you're not perfect, but you're one of the best things that's ever happened to this place. To me. To all of us."

    "Even though you don't remember...?" Lara started to ask.

    "Yes, even though," Visionary replied. "Maybe Pricilla gives me affection, and wonderful sex...amazing sex that's just never-ending--"

    "Visionary!" Everyone scolded at once.

    "Um...sorry," he continued, "But Lara...if you feel you have to leave please consider that...you did leave a mark in the Parodyverse. You left one on us. We're not just going to give up hope you'll return and forget you." He smiled slightly. "So you may as well give in and promise you won't give up either."

    "Yes," Liu Xi volunteered. "The Hooded Hood likes to make people feel like quitting. But if you quit now the Hooded Hood will have beaten you. He'll have beaten all of us. Lara, he told you himself that you have a lot of power to change the Parodyverse, did he not? That implies you have power over him. That's why he wishes you to leave."

    Lara nodded. She thought for a moment as she watched Sir Mumphrey Wilton approach and remove his reading glasses to watch what was going on. "I guess Liu Xi is right," she whispered. "You all are." She shook her head. "I'm so sorry for all the trouble I caused, though. I wish I had some way to make it up to each of you."

    Jay quickly covered Dream's mouth, anticipating a certain type of response. Dream slipped away and surprised him with a completely different one. "Give Jay a kiss," he suggested loudly.

    "What?" Jay asked. He frowned at Dream.

    Lara laughed. "No, I don't think he wants that." She looked at Jay and smiled, and he did too. "But he does want me to stick around." She reached out and held Jay's hand, and Visionary's hand with her other. "So does Visionary." She shrugged. "Maybe I can give you guys another chance."

    Visionary smiled and hugged Lara so sloppily that he accidentally hugged Jay along with her. "Uh...thanks," he said, trying to cover with a calm response.

    "Why are we to be standing around?" Yo asked. "This is to be cause for celebration!"

    "Maybe later, Yo," Lara replied. "First I think Visionary and I need to talk. We have memories we need to coordinate. Ones we can share safely, at least." She kept one arm around Visionary as she led him around the corner to the study.

    "Interesting," the Hooded Hood whispered to himself at Herringcarp Asylum. "You've proving to be very resilient."

    "Damn right she is," Liu Xi suddenly announced behind him, making the Hooded Hood actually jump. "And if you frighten her away again I'll find some way to hurt you. And I'll bring Visionary to slap you again."

    The Hooded Hood turned around to say something clever in response...but she was gone. "Hmm." he commented to himself. "And Liu Xi is becoming more bold. Even more interesting."

-- Story written and copyrighted (C) 2005 by Jason Froikin, and may not be
-- reprinted without permission.
-- Yuki Shiro designed by Jason Froikin, based on designs by Masamune Shirow
-- Liu Xi Xian and the Psychic Samurai are original design by Jason Froikin
-- Lara Night is an original creation by Jason Froikin

Post By Anime Jason Wed Oct 26, 2005 at 05:19:12 pm EDT	Subject Adventures In Parodyverse: The Path of the Righteous, Part 7 (Epilogue)

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